I know "Punitivism" is not a "real" word, but it sounds cool right? From the many definitions around, here is what it really entails from what I see in schools "inflicting or intended as punishment".
What's the point? A consequence for the behavior? Punishment? Being disciplined?
I thought we, as educators were here to mold, empower, help, engage, teach, shape, coach, and facilitate the betterment of our students. Aren't we suppose to turn them into lifelong learners and outstanding citizens? Those who can make a positive impact upon the others around them?
It seems to me that "benching", "time outs", "heads down on your desk" and "NO Recess for you!" has not gone by the wayside yet and is still the norm in our schools. Where is our teachable moment, and our "fair is not equal" Growth Mindset? Yes, I get it! If a kid hurts or intends to physically hurt another child, let's take some real action, but really?" Let's take him out of class, I'll show him!" "This will teach him, I am sending him to the office!" OR...suspension...er, I mean, stay home and play on your device day...nope, it doesn't work.
I don't have the silver bullet, but I not only love the word "Altruism", I live by the practice. " A selfless concern for the well-being of others". Wow, that sounds super cool! How do I do it?Many times on my campus, I hear grumblings from teachers that "Mr. K, just lets kids skate!" "He does nothing to teach that kid a lesson!" Really? does the 30-60 minutes I just spent with that student, in a 1:1 totally engaged, focused and heart felt conversation not matter? I thought we were supposed to CONNECT with kids, not push them away!Well, let's see, what else do I do?...I listen.I look into his/her eyes. I empathize. I walk with them. I show them. I model. We practice. Again. Again. Apologies. Community Service. Giving Back. Re-start.
Simple. Lead with your heart. Listen and connect with kids. Get down on your knees, and to his/her level. Be there. Hug if needed (warning: can be addicting). Connect. Connect. Teach and watch. I'm sure you will see the seeds grow.
Love this Jeff! It really is all about the relationships we build with our students that helps them learn from mistakes and actually change behavior!
ReplyDeleteJeff, frequently adults have a misunderstanding (see: A Private Universe) that they fail to acknowledge and develop new paradigms.
ReplyDeletePunishment by its nature is meant to impose pain, suffering, or loss in retaliation of a misdeed.
Who would want to do that to a child!
Conversely, discipline is the training of the mind (Growth Mindset) for age appropriate behaviors. This implies we should be modeling and providing examples of appropriate behavior if one truly wants to exchange inappropriate for appropriate behavior.