Tuesday, February 26, 2019

It happened...

OK. It happened today.
The day started with a doldrumness feeling. I was tired. I was stressed. I was feeling lonely and unsure.
My dad has Alzheimers and Parkinsons - what a combo...:(
Mom called today..."Jeff, there's an open room at the memory care facility." Boom! Damn! Really?
My sister, Mom and I had been expecting this for over a month, but when you hear, " You are first on the list," it kind of makes you cringe. Knowing that for an opening in a nursing home means that someone else has died? Umm, not my comfort zone.
Pops has gone downhill fast. My family moved back from Vancouver, WA in Spring of '17, as we knew he was declining quickly.
My pops.

I know it wasn't the best time ever growing up, but he's pops. My dad. My father. My pappy. The 'Ol man, etc.
He was there. He worked hard. He brought us to Hawaii every year since I was 5 - probs about 35 trips my friends. Yes, he worked 7 days per week. Ignoring things that may have been perceived more important.
Speaking to dad on Sunday, February 24, 2019 ( after his donut from Fluffy's -Brian Briggs you down?) (shaved and showered him next) - we then had quite a few laughs, cries, hmm's and questions.
My big Q was " Dad, why did you work 7 days per week when I was growing up?" His response was beautiful:  "Jeff, I never felt confident in what I did as a dad. Working gave me confidence, because I was good at it."

Wow. My dad gave me about 40 trips to Hawaii. Camping. National Parks. Baseball. Swimming. Surfing. Scuba. Whatever Marian and I needed.

Now- What was left? A few memories? Stories of Frozen Custard from Milwaukee? Some laughs? A model of the USS Arizona that we built in 1975?

No. Pops is not just a shell. He is here. He is now. He is present. He is my dad of 53 + years and every time I see him, he is me. My life. My family. My pops.
I love you Pops.


  1. From the heart as always, bro. So good. This is legacy right here. No better way to honor your father as he enters this final chapter.

    Thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend.

    1. Thank you - you are very much appreciated my man!

  2. I get it!!! We are going thru the same thing with my dad. Stupid disease!!! Superman without his cape!!!

  3. SO TOUCHED by this post!
    I am a care giver to my mother (and was to my father --that seemed to be just like your Dad firefighter + 2 other jobs all his life here in Hawaii and fought until the end).
    Maybe youʻre not Jewish or Christian but you & your sister remember:

    Honour your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land that Yahweh your God is giving you.Exodus 20 :12 .

    “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:2-3

    Malama pono (Take care of all that is good, right, righteous and in right standing)

  4. Thank you so much for the kind and wonderful words! I especially love the Malama Pono! God Bless